Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot"
Short Funny Quote by, Unkown.


"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
Short Funny Quote by, Unknown.


"Lifes Tough, get a helmet!"
Short Funny Quote by, Unknown.


"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
Short Funny Quote by, Dilbert.


"Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap."
Short Funny Quote by, Anonymous member of a chain gang.


"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
Short Funny Quote by, Unknown.


"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!"
Short Funny Quote by, Unknown.


"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
Short Funny Quote by, Anonymous.


"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
Short Funny Quote by, Whitney Brown.


"Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one."
Short Funny Quote by, Anonymous.


"Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."
Short Funny Quote by, Rodney Dangerfield.